The Joy And Satisfaction Of Accepting Our Ageing | Letters

I couldn’t work together much pinch Moya Sarner (No, property isn’t conscionable a number – and nan sooner we realise that, nan happier we will be, 14 July). One of nan article’s cardinal messages is that clip and tide hold for nary man – a phrase making love backmost to Chaucer successful 1395, yet still resonant today. Sarner suggests that those who defy nan earthy transition of clip often find little contentment than those who clasp life’s stages pinch maturity and flexibility. It’s a timely reminder that each section of life holds intrinsic worth and that existent maturation isn’t astir clinging to younker but astir evolving into deeper, much authentic versions of ourselves.

The building “age is conscionable a number” mightiness sound harmless enough, but arsenic Sarner cautions, overreliance connected specified slogans tin mean we miss retired connected nan richness that comes pinch ageing and change. Resistance to affectional maturation and individual maturation isn’t conscionable a gen Z aliases millennial problem – it spans each generations. As a trainee psychotherapist (and undergoing individual therapy myself), I’ve seen really powerful it is to guidelines oneself successful nan present. The extremity of psychotherapy isn’t to discard nan playfulness aliases idealism of younker but to merge those qualities into a grounded big self. No book, podcast aliases clever quote tin shortcut nan existent activity of increasing up – emotionally, spiritually and psychologically.

The character Carrie Fisher erstwhile said: “Youth and beauty are not accomplishments.” Yet successful a civilization fixated connected self-curation, nan ceremony of younker and artistic perfection, that connection often gets drowned out. Sarner’s article is simply a invited nudge backmost to reality and to responsibility. Perhaps, paradoxically, that is where true freedom lies.
Sinead Morris
Dunmurry, Belfast

Quantum physics apparently tells america that each clip is present astatine once. But clip for america flesh-and-bone creatures is intimately knowledgeable arsenic a travel of maturation and ageing. I turned 70 recently, and a friend brightly assured maine that 70 is nan caller 40. But astatine 40 I was raising 2 children; astatine 70 my children are raising their own. The maiden, nan mother and nan crone: astatine 70 I enclose them all, for illustration rings successful nan tree.

As Tom Waits sang successful Take It With Me: “Children are playing astatine nan extremity of nan time / Strangers are singing connected our section / It’s sewage to beryllium much than soma and bony / All that you’ve loved is each you own.”

The activity of increasing up takes a lifetime, though, arsenic TS Eliot observed: “The infinitesimal of nan roseate and nan infinitesimal of nan yew character / are of adjacent duration.”
Cecilia Lenagh
Port Macquarie, New South Wales, Australia

I will beryllium 82 this twelvemonth – I spent nan first 39 years of my life successful England. The 2nd 39 years successful California. I came backmost to England 4 years ago. I consciousness nary different. Of people location are definite things I tin nary longer do – for illustration tally up a elevation aliases portion 3 pints of brew successful 1 spell – but that’s conscionable beingness stuff. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually and politically I consciousness nan aforesaid arsenic I did 50 years ago.

In your article you constitute astir “the devastating reality of nan passing of clip and nan losses it brings”. I would propose that this is simply a circle of nan character you presently find yourself in. Savour your memories, bask nan coming – and look guardant to nan future, nevertheless agelong aliases short it is.
David Ashwell
Mawgan-in-Meneage, Cornwall

Thank you for this insightful knowing of nan 1000 small losses 1 experiences arsenic a mother erstwhile simultaneously celebrating nan advent of independent adulthood for your kid and arsenic mourning for, and aching with, nan symptom of missing those beautiful babe moments that defined life.

The word “empty nest” ne'er rather encapsulates nan afloat grade of nan affectional depths, whereas her daughter’s “gooster” becoming her scooter resonates. I still miss nan “huggy bugs” who mysteriously and invisibly propelled my girl (now 25) into nan room for early greeting cuddles, ne'er to reappear aft nan property of 11.
Sheryl Crown
Wivenhoe, Essex