My Petty Gripe: I Don’t Begrudge Your Coffee Addiction – But Do You Have To Be Such A Bore About It?

I get it: you really for illustration coffee. And you person an addiction. I’m not judging that. You’re beholden to Big Bean, hopelessly hooked connected nan world’s astir consumed psychotropic drug. But, err, do you person to beryllium specified a bore astir it?

Does it really request a mention connected your making love profile, arsenic though a fondness for basking brownish liquid is simply a personality trait?

Is a java not genuinely a java unless it’s conjured from scratch by a barista? And do you really request to beryllium specified a grump successful nan greeting if you don’t get it?

Should you really beryllium entitled to an other hour’s activity break truthful you tin guidelines successful a lengthy cafe queue some greeting and afternoon? (Before you hold yet different activity gathering successful favour of a prolonged caffeine-foraging mission, fto maine present you to nan agency espresso instrumentality and – don’t springiness maine that look – this jar of instant coffee.)

Sure, you want an excuse to rumors pinch your colleagues*, get immoderate caller air, get your regular steps successful aliases time off your lonely work-from-home position to person nan only in-person relationship you’ll person each day. All very worthy causes.

But past connected nan play you’ll make maine tag on pinch you while you hunt for different overpriced cafe java conscionable 20 minutes aft you imbibed nan first because nan beverage successful nan first cup of joe was under-steamed and you simply can’t proceed pinch your time until you’ve overridden that abomination pinch a value level white.

Or connected our camping travel you’ll snub nan moka pot-brewed campfire java and jump successful your car and thrust retired of nan wilderness to nan nearest municipality to bargain an artisanal long achromatic successful a takeaway cup. Waiting for you to return from your one-and-a-half-hour information travel ate up astir of our precious morning, Peter!

Granted, I don’t cognize overmuch astir latte art, but I do cognize swans beryllium astatine liberty connected shimmering lakes, not confined atop your greeting beverage.

As nan world descends deeper into economical hardship, environmental doom and nan clutches of authoritarian nutjobs, java snobbery inexplicably endures and strengthens, for illustration cockroaches aft nan apocalypse.

Apologies if I sound a spot bitter, tired and irritable, arsenic though I person a mild headache coming on. Perhaps a changeable of single-origin locally roasted ristretto will benignant maine out.

* This article does not bespeak immoderate of my Guardian Australia colleagues – I emotion you all