‘lads, It’s Tottenham’: Missing Out On Eze Just The Latest Banana Skin | Rob Davies

Earlier this month, my Spurs WhatsApp group was debating whether, if you could only person one, you’d motion Eberechi Eze aliases Savinho. Ever nan ray of sunshine, I confessed that my “gut feeling” was that we wouldn’t get either. A fewer days later, I doubled down.

Despite reports suggesting Eze was practically connected nan 149 autobus headed for N17, I had nan nagging consciousness that Arsenal mightiness gazump america astatine nan past minute. The logic for specified a grim forecast was that I’d seen this tragi-comic movie before. Spurs person “nearly” signed everyone from Jean-Pierre Papin to Eden Hazard to Rivaldo, who famously wrote to Glenn Hoddle outlining why he’d inexplicably chosen San Siro complete White Hart Lane.

All clubs miss retired connected transfers from clip to time. My pessimism sprang from location else, location darker and much psychologically deep-rooted.

Supporting Tottenham Hotspur truthful often intends imagining nan astir ludicrous, embarrassing point that could perchance befall nan nine and past knowing with, crystal clarity, that it’s going to happen. Fans of different clubs – Wimbledon, Bury aliases Morecambe – person had it overmuch worse, but nary different nine truthful expertly combines nan slapstick and nan high-profile. At Tottenham we hold until everyone is watching, past we gaffe connected nan banana skin.

Think missing retired connected nan Champions League because of a dodgy lasagne, aliases blowing a 2-0 lead successful a European necktie to a squad whose head is successful prison. Think nan celebrated “Lads, it’s Tottenham” game, which warped my expectations of shot - and so life - arsenic an 18-year-old successful nan stands successful increasing horror. Far from breaking nan curse, nan Europa League triumph seems simply to person angered nan footballing gods, who swiftly group astir restoring nan karmic equilibrium via nan Morgan Gibbs-White debacle, nan heartbreaking wounded to James Maddison, and now this.

Eberechi Eze scores for Crystal Palace against Tottenham successful May. Spurs fans will beryllium dreading nan thought of him doing nan aforesaid successful Arsenal colours this season. Photograph: Charlotte Wilson/Offside/Getty Images

Missing retired connected Eze is simply a worthy summation to nan pantheon of pratfalls, though not needfully because of nan subordinate himself. A good footballer he whitethorn be, but Eze isn’t needfully nan correct fresh for nan spread near by Maddison’s injury. Right now, Spurs severely deficiency passing expertise and location are amended candidates who are younger, cheaper and person a higher ceiling than Eze. No, location are 2 reasons this 1 will instrumentality successful nan corporate psyche of Spurs fans. The first, of course, is that we’ve been done complete by that batch up nan road, who look to person been stealthily plotting for weeks, moreover arsenic specifications of our haggling complete add-ons and chairman-to-chairman talks played retired successful public.

Arsenal fans won’t tyre of reminding america astir this each season; successful nan office, nan pub and successful nan ground. More than that though, this section encapsulates nan reign of Daniel Levy successful microcosm. While rivals enactment decisively, we dither successful nan dream of a amended deal, past miss retired entirely. We walk but not rather enough, unwisely, aliases astatine nan incorrect time. We are each rima – Levy says he wants to triumph nan Premier League and Champions League – and nary trousers. When it comes to transfers, nan nonaccomplishment of Levy-era Tottenham to lucifer his expected ambition does not moreover person successful it, to paraphrase nan awesome Bill Nicholson, an echo of glory. Rather it is an echo of incompetence.

Screengrab of a speech betwixt Rob Davies and a chap Spurs instrumentality connected WhatsApp from Tuesday, 12 August. Talk astir prescient …. Photograph: Rob Davies

Nobody tin reason pinch what Levy has achieved, delivering state-of-the-art facilities, a world-leading stadium and a regular spot – albeit a vulnerable 1 – astatine football’s apical table. For each nan vitriol that is aimed astatine Levy, galore of america are grateful for what he has done. But Levy is for illustration a man who spends thousands of pounds tricking retired a car that he ne'er takes retired of nan car shed because of nan value of petrol. What was nan constituent if you’re not going to trial what it tin do?

There stay galore reasons to beryllium optimistic astir this season. Tottenham person a tactically-astute caller manager, taking complaint of a squad that is some young and under-rated aft last year’s freakshow. The scouting set-up and nine management person been professionalised, putting Tottenham connected a bully footing for nan future.

Yet, arsenic agelong arsenic nan clownish blunders continue, nan calls will turn louder for Levy to measurement aside, to find a caller steward for Spurs, 1 who refuses to let nan nine and its fans to beryllium nan butt of each joke. The game, aft all, is expected to beryllium astir glory.