Barbarella, London E14: ‘a Large Scoop Of Lady Gaga Does House Of Gucci’ – Restaurant Review | Grace Dent On Restaurants

The Big Mamma group’s gargantuan, flamboyant, frothily dressed up pleasance palaces, which person grown quickly crossed London – from Gloria successful Shoreditch to Circolo Popolare successful Fitzrovia and from Avo Mario successful Covent Garden to Jacuzzi successful Marylebone, among others – not to mention crossed Europe successful general, thin to origin earnest nutrient sorts to sigh wearily. If nan lofty scofferati could person recovered a measurement to scupper Big Mamma’s growth, they astir apt would have, because these restaurants are unashamedly focused connected big, sexy, silly and Italian-inspired fun. The eating rooms are styled pinch nan chaotic yet elegant item of a big-budget movie set; nary 2 are remotely nan same, but each branch is connected by dependably over-the-top Italian serving staff, usually antheral and each 1 of them wished to beryllium your champion friend each nan measurement from nan antipasti to nan dolci, moreover if your stiff British mentality fights their displays of chumminess.

Barbarella’s millefoglie di patate con tartare di manzo e tartufo: ‘Not remotely delicious.’

The latest Big Mamma opening, Barbarella successful Canary Wharf, eastbound London, is nary different, and features each of those elements pinch which we’ve go truthful familiar: nan tall, wobbly citrus meringue pie, nan campy banquettes, nan immense flappy paper pinch 100-plus items each written successful Italian and successful a teensy-tiny reddish font. At Barbarella, location are besides oversized sculptures, vintage Fiorucci successful solid show cases and, vibe-wise, a ample scoop of Gaga does House of Gucci.

Why are clever nutrient group truthful sniffy astir Big Mamma, contempt its restaurants being afloat to nan brim each night? Well, location are 2 reasons: first, Barbarella and her sisters are determinedly fun; almost forced fun, if we’re wholly honest. Just effort telling your server that you’re not present to person a laugh, but alternatively person travel for a sparse, sensible, calorie-counting meal, truthful there’s nary request for a double martini aliases to beryllium spooned tiramisu from a immense vessel by a winking man from Sicily called Gianluca. They conscionable won’t understand you. The second, and perchance much logical logic for nan raised eyebrows is because – let’s trim to nan pursuit – nan nutrient successful all of these restaurants isn’t ever terribly bully and is sometimes actively awful.

Barbarella’s £36 linguine alla lobster: ‘Fine, if thing earth-shattering.’

Not that you’ll ever cajole immoderate of nan unit into admitting that: “This tiramisu is my favourite tiramisu successful nan world, moreover amended than my ain nonna’s,” is conscionable 1 statement directed astatine maine astatine Barbarella. The unit simply cannot break character, truthful each nan pasta is, according to them astatine least, “freshly made this hour” and “better than they service successful nan colony I travel from successful Italy”. Every T-bone steak is nan juiciest and each brunello connected nan extended wine-list is nan astir thoughtfully sourced. You’ve much chance of seeing Mickey Mouse astatine nan beforehand of a Disney parade pinch his headpiece disconnected and smoking a Marlboro than perceive a Barbarella server admit that this nutrient is conscionable OK – and hugely overpriced, too.

Not that you’d really want that, either. Barbarella, for illustration each of these places, is astir escapism, boisterous group eating and being swept up successful nan moment, pinch personification other – a lover, a boss, a father-in-law – hopefully picking up nan hefty measure afterwards. Lunching present stone-cold sober is simply a existent eye-opener. I’ve only ever been to a Big Mamma edifice while a spot tipsy, but present I’m being served a £24 sheet of “millefoglie di patate con tartare di manzo e tartufo”, aliases a benignant of acold fried murphy rösti pinch a spoon of unseasoned beef tartare that’s not remotely delicious. A courgette and food insalata limps connected to my array hoping for love, but it’s different hopeless authorities of affairs. This is not bully courgette, these are not pleasant croutons.

Barbarella’s tiramisu: ‘Rich, heavy and cocoa-covered’ pinch optional seconds.

Next up, lobster linguine for £36 successful a thick, one-note bisque condiment and pinch half a lobster connected apical – fine, but thing earth-shattering. A £38 fillet steak pinch greenish peppercorn condiment is by immoderate region nan astir delicious point we eat, and comes pinch a broadside of really awesome rosemary potatoes. Then again, it’s besides astir apt nan slightest Italian point connected nan menu. But nan tiramisu is, arsenic ever, rich, thick, cocoa-covered and comes pinch that timeworn instrumentality of offering a 2nd scoop to denote largesse.

Upstairs is nan spot to sit, it being nan room pinch each nan movie-star glamour; downstairs is, situation I say, a small little exciting. But, from my spot by nan till (not location I wanted to linger) and having to move plates astir to make them fresh connected a mini array that’s astir arsenic large arsenic 1 of nan pizzas, there’s conscionable thing astir Barbarella that near maine a small cold. Perhaps glamour isn’t expected to beryllium practical. The chaotic Italian statement continues successful Canary Wharf regardless, but I don’t deliberation I’ll beryllium moving backmost for a scoop of gelato immoderate clip soon.

• Barbarella Unit 3, YY London, 30 South Colonnade, London E14 (no phone). Open each week, noon-midnight. From astir £40 a caput à la carte, positive drinks and service.

• The adjacent section of Grace’s Comfort Eating podcast is retired connected Tuesday 15 July – perceive to it here.